Some days I just have to ask – do humans live in an insect world, or do insects live in a human world? This may seem like a dumb question to anyone not familiar with my world, where both insects and humans leave a lot of room for improvement, but at least I don’t goContinue reading “Lights! Pheromones! Action! (Behind the Scenes with Fireflies)”
Tag Archives: Humorous essays
Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?
As best I can tell, life evolved to be an endless series of choices. This would be fine if it hadn’t also evolved parents to endlessly criticize those choices. Announce that you’re choosing to become a writer if you don’t believe me. But I really don’t think things would get any better if we couldContinue reading “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?”
How Many Trees Can’t We See?
A long time ago, probably before anybody really thought about what they were doing, our ancestors lived in the trees. Trees gave them everything they needed then. But everything isn’t always enough, especially when your only dreams are of falling. So eventually they came down, their dreams evolved to include world domination, and they wentContinue reading “How Many Trees Can’t We See?”
Pigeons vs City People
In the countryside where I live, people generally have a fleeting but positive view of birds. We live our lives and they live theirs, or they would if the birdwatchers would ever leave them alone. We live in our houses and they live in the trees and shrubs, so at least even the non-birdwatchers knowContinue reading “Pigeons vs City People”
Ferret Legging – You Can Lose More than Your Dignity
If polo is called the sport of kings, then ferret legging should be called the sport of eunuchs. Should be, but it’s not. Eunuchs would only take the fun out of this manly sport, much as ferrets could take the manhood out of the man. As a sport, ferret legging really does not have aContinue reading “Ferret Legging – You Can Lose More than Your Dignity”
It’s a Small Brain After All
I’m sure most readers would agree with me that brains are important, and not just because they allow us to think that we’re smarter than we are. Brains take up nearly half the volume of our heads, so without them our heads would be only half the size they are now and we would lookContinue reading “It’s a Small Brain After All”
I’m Only Half the Man I Thought I Was
OK, so I woke up this morning and it sure seemed like a typical day. I mean, I felt like myself, as near as I could tell. Not that I ever felt that I really KNEW myself, if you know what I mean, but I was pretty sure I could still recognize myself in theContinue reading “I’m Only Half the Man I Thought I Was”
Greatest Hits of the Enlightenment
The best thing you can really say about the Age of Enlightenment is that it was nice while it lasted. Sure, it was better than the Dark Ages, but what wasn’t? In any case I have to wonder where it all got us in the end. To my thinking, without the Age of Enlightenment, weContinue reading “Greatest Hits of the Enlightenment”
Is Connecticut Funny?
The following story is true, only the events have been changed to protect me from lawsuits, brickbats, and evil curses. Names are real however, and nobody is innocent, particularly me. I recently came across an opinion piece in a prominent state newspaper with the provocative heading, “Why isn’t Connecticut funnier?” Imagine my surprise andContinue reading “Is Connecticut Funny?”
Beavers vs the Army Corps of Engineers
It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that North America was once ruled by giant beavers. It should also come as no surprise then, given the state of things today, that there are many people who wish for their return. These peaceful, bear-sized rodents reigned for quite a long time, from 1.4 million yearsContinue reading “Beavers vs the Army Corps of Engineers”